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A little taste of liberation.
I think I found it
In the slow decay of our conversations.
When the walls went up
And notes were passed down
The words faded to nothing
As the paper rotted on the ground.
I saw this
When our depth faded to nothing
But idle chit-chat.
Our time together meant little more
Than the de-cluttering of this and that.
The passing on of information –
Just common knowledge and nothing sacred
And all was lost
To the sea of hopes and dreams
And wishes forgotten.
I think I felt it
When you decided to abandon the effort.
I thought – maybe –
I could pique your interest
And thus decided to look for it.
But I found myself wading
Through the darkness
Of the condemned ruins of
Our past lives
And found the skeletons of
The pictures of us that
You’d left behind.
I think my world stopped a little bit
When I realized
Just how expendable I must be
In your eyes.
I think I felt my Heart crack
Maybe, just a little bit.
I think I felt the first tears
Burn the backs of my eyes.
For a second, I vowed that you
Would never see me cry.
But you were long gone
And it was here that I started
To wonder why –
Why should I care?
You’re not even there!
You’re no longer here –
I –
Wasted so much of me
To make space for you
To the loss of me and my time.
And so I dusted myself off
And wobbled to my feet.
I took a deep breath –
Spared a second to look around me.
I realized in that moment –
There was nothing of you for me.
And then I walked away
Thanking God for this freedom
That I found in my Heart’s release –