, , , , , , , , , ,


I remember when I first started working with the tiny humans.
The Little Individual grabbed my finger and hung on tight.
Have you ever tried to wrestle something out of the tiny little fist of a baby that is holding on for dear life?
It’s the cutest thing.
Because he pulled my finger close and held on as he was giving into his sleeping –
The moment I took my finger back
His eyes flew open and he started to fidget.
Before long, his little face went red.
And then the whole unit was filled with his frightened screaming.
Now –
I felt like someone special and important
To be needed so fully by this infant.
That he could not sleep unless he had my finger in his tiny, dimpled fist.
And so I started to speak.
Utter nonsense –
I spoke about rice and beans.
And he followed the sound of my voice.
He looked right at me and my Heart squeezed.

And then this doctor walked up to the crib
And he said – he said –
“He’s got good reflexes, does this kid.
Did you know, he isn’t even aware of it?
That he will clench anything that touches his fist?”

The dude was properly trying to crush my dreams!
How dare he lessen this accomplishment for me?!
How dare he imply that baby didn’t love me?
That I was just another bit of progress in his milestones?
But it was quickly forgotten in the face of my joy
When I saw how happy baby was to hear my voice –
It had nothing to do with what I was saying and more to do with all the Love behind it.

Even on my darkest days.
Even when the pay is shit
And the outcomes are bad –
I live for it!
For those moments when baby realizes how special he is…

As a Neonatal Nurse, I spend those first hours with Baby, that Mum often misses out on.
It’s hard to be sad or angry in the midst of all that innocence –
For fear that you just might taint it all.
We don’t always win and sometimes God has other plans but when our goals align –
When we get it right?
When we can return baby to his Mother with a smile –
Boy, do we ever!