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I am a dull human being.
By all counts, that is the best description I have of myself.
And if it’s not, then it’s right up there with the rest of the words I’d use.
My mind is wild country but my Life is not.

And so, by my standards, I went on an adventure.

Hooked up my Garmin – it couldn’t find the B&B where my family would be staying and so I put in the closest approximation.
It was like – a good hour’s drive away. I had some good music playing off an awesome sound system and I was alone and I didn’t need to censor any of my bullshit and I didn’t need to turn the volume down so I could better hear anyone.
My focus was on the road ahead of me and the cars around me. I took almost nothing else in.
I didn’t note the scenery, I didn’t pay attention to the interesting residences around me.
I was just intent on getting to my destination so I could find my way to my people.

One minute, I was in the city. And the next, I was in the countryside.
It was gloriously green with hills and flat planes that stretched for miles and mercifully, the sun was out and shining and there was no drama on the roads.
I was anxious, but not moved to panic or tears. I was worried about things that were possible but unlikely – what if my car broke down? What if I ran out of petrol?
What if that thing that happened last time happened again – I hadn’t seen a petrol station for miiiiles.
Was I even paying attention to that?
So I switched off my Garmin and turned on my Google Maps because at least the software on this app was no doubt up to date. So it would definitely give me a play-by-play of my travels and direct me accordingly.
It hadn’t failed me so far…
And then, Google Maps sent me down a dirt road and I remembered a friend telling me about his friend who went off road with his sedan and the poor beast ended up being written off because of all the dirt. And then I happened upon a drift and the water was – much.
And so I turned all the way around and worked my way back to the main road where I called my Dad.
He didn’t know where I was!
I didn’t know where I was!
Follow Google Maps they said – I had, twice and it led me down the freagin dirt roads and I was not about that life! And more importantly, my car was definitely not about that life – I think.
I didn’t want to test that theory,
But my sister was smart.
She sent me a pin-drop of her location on WhatsApp and I used Google Maps to work my way there.
No dirt roads this time.
But there was a toll gate.
A fat one!
And there was a stupid impatient individual in his fat Ford Ranger and I wanted to summon Optimus Prime and the Autobots to pick him and his car up and put him at the back of the line!
They didn’t accept debit cards and all I had was small change.
What was I to do now?
Thankfully, the lady in the booth allowed me through so that I could make a u-turn and find an ATM machine so that I could get cash and then try to crossover again.
That worked beautifully and my desire to summon the Primes was immediately forgotten.
A couple of minutes later, I found my people, which was awesome.

In hindsight, maybe I’ve squashed my feelings down or I never really registered them to begin with.
I can recall the times in my life where I was truly scared for my life or so completely anxious that I couldn’t feel my own extremities.
When I took my first driving test, I was paralyzed by anxiety.
When I was – bullied by a dog as a kid, I almost tossed up my breakfast.
A dull life I lead.
I suppose I wasn’t all that freaked out about my little adventure. More annoyed than anything.
I hate going places that I don’t know. I have no concrete plan and no way to improvise if the road doesn’t do what I expect it to do.
But this was fun.
In hindsight – it was not entirely terrible.
My car. Under my control. On a trip that I had some measure of responsibility for – I had to get myself there. I had to sort my own damn self out.
An exercise in independence.
And it was empowering for me and my dull existence.