Sometimes I think about what it would be like to make a living off my Poetry and the Fantasies in my head.
I wonder what it would be like to travel, location scouting and doing research for my characters and seeing what it would look like from their points of view.
I wonder what an actual deadline would mean and I imagine the rush of sitting in on brainstorming sessions and discussing sentences and different words to use in place of others.
And cover art!
And book so signings and readings and possible endings and book deals and shipping my family off to glorious places just because I could so that I could engage in inspiration –
Would I have the discipline to stay the course to go from fulltime Neonatal Nurse to fulltime Author?
What if I have only one great Book in me?
What if I don’t even have a single moderately good one?
What if I had it all wrong and I’m not a Writer at all?
Then I convince myself that I’m quite content just to share it all with you. Just to know that you have it in your minds and that you’re wondering what the hell she’s going to do – at the exact time that I wonder why the hell I made her do that!
When is it no longer about the writing and all about the sales and polls and public interest?
I would love to remain in that fantastic bubble of Writing for fun and not finance.
But that means I’ll have to remain as I am and not grow into the Writer I want to be.